Big News Guys...

Okay, so yes. This is my SECOND blog in one day......but i'm so excited I can hardly contain myself.

:)

I MOVED :)

into theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee most amazing place.

ever.

wanna know what I love about it? (besides everything...)

• off campus location (no more pot smoking roomates for me)
• close to campus (as in I can see the music building from my porch. that's right. my porch :D )
• our kitchen has a stove, oven, and a dishwasher. dishwashers=blessed.
• my queen size bed. all to myself.
• my closet space. picture will explain...

cute, right?? my closet space is the best...and yes. we have christmas lights.

christmas, christmas, christmsas....

we are excited. there is even a little tree in our living room. oh yeah, by we, I mean....

again, cute. :) emily is a vocal major, and the best thing ever?? SHE CAN COOK! such good food. 

that's her dog esaw, who happens to look just like my dog, kisses! he only has one eye, but he's super sweet. a little full of gas at times...but hey, who can complain? 

ohh. 

I almost forgot. 

wanna know the BEST part about living above a coffee shop???? 

AGAIN....cute. :)

His name is Joe..

...more commonly known as Joseph the Latte Boy.

A song which I take great pride in singing to him. 

p.s. he's even cuter when he blushes ;)

Disclaimer: (that is hot chocolate in my cup, I promise..best hot chocolate EVER.)

bottom line....

I'm happy:)

come visit!! 

One gypsy princess jumping on the bed...

...........she fell off and bumped her...

 FOOT. 

It's a true story guys. Technically, I snapped a few tendons-but whatever. It still hurt like a mo fo. I bet you're all dying to know what happened, so here is my epic story. My roommate  Heather and I were watching the local news. There were some creepy abduction stories going on, so we both went to bed slightly paranoid. Around midnight right as i'm about to fall asleep, my fan decides to fall down. Perfect. It crashes into my window, making it sound like someone was literally trying to bust in and kill me. I launched out of my bed, and landed wrong. When I landed...I knew I was screwed. The next morning, I tried to get out of bed and walk. Really, really, really bad idea. So I hopped, yes, literally hopped to the doctor and got my meds, AND my spiffy little boot :) I'm doing much better now, so never fear. 

Downside to snapping my tendons.... :(

Plus side to snapping my tendons.... :)

disclaimer: the little boy kept staring at me like I was some crazy lady. I truthfully wasn't. Heather had to slow down to walk with me...but I think the look on his face is priceless.

That's all for now :) 

Death Shall Not Destroy My Comfort.

Life's an interesting ride. People compare life to a roller coaster, but I think that's an understatement. Roller coasters are so predictable. Ups. Downs. Twists. Turns. But no roller coaster I have ever been on has the sudden drop offs that I have experienced in my life. The first one...being death.

My grandma passed away suddenly a few weeks ago. It was insanely unexpected, and she was young. She had a heart attack in Island Park. My Uncle did CPR on her for a half hour until the ambulance got there...but by the time they did it was too late. I loved my grandma very much. We were very close. The beauty of the gospel brings peace to alot of people, but my family is having such a hard time dealing with this. My grandma was sealed to her previous husband as is my grandpa to his previous wife. After fourty some odd years together, they're just supposed to be parted and be okay with the fact that they're going to be seperated for all eternity? That's tough! Especially here on this earth! I know things will all be worked out on the other side...but waiting for that? Is heartrenching and painful. My sisters got to come up for the funeral, which was the only nice thing about it.  

Not going to lie...I find it insanely ironic that someone has to die in order to get ALL of your familiy together. Shouldn't we be doing this while people are alive? So that when we take family pictures? Someone isn't missing? :( 

The second 'roller coaster' that life throws at you that people forget to meantion? Love. 

We had plans. Big plans. But...things don't always work out the way you want them too. Sometimes you do do stupid things, that screw up the rest of your life. Sometimes feelings and people get in the way of what you want. Sometimes promises are broken. Sometimes, It just can't be. Sometimes, things have been so messed up and shitty in the past, that there is just no way to fix it. Sometimes? Sometimes love isn't enough. I was always under the impression that if two people were in love? They could make it through anything. I'm sad to announce that it isn't the case. So...whats a person to do. Death. Love. Unrequited love. Disapointment. Shattered dreams. Broken promises. Piercing words. It's tough. Life is the hardest teacher. You get the test first and the lesson after. I've some of my closest friends and loved ones lately, and let me tell you, it's the hardest thing i've ever done. People that have claimed to "always be there" have abandoned me when i've needed it most. Also? Putting ALL your time and effort into one person? Can really screw you over when they decide to drop you...because you've got nothing left for you. Now I have to look back and not cry because its over...but smile because it happend. As of right now? Impossible to do. It's impossible not to cry when your so heartbroken. 

 The only thing that's been keeping my partially sane as of late?

my music.

people lie. people cheat. people hurt you. you came into this world with your family? and when you die? you end up with just your family. I think it would be awesome to be immortal...like in Twighlight? (yes, i'm using this analogy *GASP*) You actually focus on things that YOU personally care about...because give it a couple decades and all the people that you knew and care about? are gone. So the lessons that i've learned as of late?

1. Don't waste your time on someone, because one day? You're gonna find someone who's willing to waste THEIR time on YOU. as it should be. relationships should be mutual. not one sided. 

2. People CHANGE. things aren't always going to be the same. hardest, hardest, HARDEST thing for me to grasp, but people move on and decide to go in different directions. It's not a bad thing...just a hard thing.

3. Death is insanely hard to deal with, but it's inevitable. The gospel helps me cope...so I just need to keep praying. 

4. Home? Is the most amazing place ever. That? Never changes.        

5. Hang on to the ones that DO love you. People come into your life. People leave. The ones that stay? Are meant to be. I've come to this amazing conclusion that people truly do come into your life when you need them too. If they leave? It's their time. I need to stop being angry at all the people that have left...because it's meant to be. And sometimes? Things like death, are a one way street. 

as for me..I guess I just need to keep praying, and holding on to hope. my lyrics honestly keep me alive. I've been recording a demo as of late...and it is honestly? the most healing process ever. These girls...have also been quite the comfort. 

I am blessed. And equally tried. Yet this is the bittersweet process...called life

Who made you King of Anything?

Hola, Blogger world! Or should I say Gutentag! (In honor of my German class.) It's been such an interesting month at college! I can hardly believe October is already here. Time flys when your keeping yourself busy! My four hour a day practice sessions are making me go insane, in the best way possible. My days are filled with music, and lately i've been starting to dream in German. So! Things are going well...although Thanksgiving break can't come soon enough ;)

A few weeks ago I had the AWESOME opprotunity to see Sara Bareillies! Front row seats. For real, I kid you not. She has been my idol for the longest time! Honestly, since my freshman year of high school since "Love Song" came out, i've been a sara junkie. She was incredible live, and it was needless to say that I cried while she played Gravity. Such an inspiring artist. I'm going to be just like her someday.

Exciting news!I got a job as a DJ :) I work for DJ Audio Star on the weekends, playing music at dances, weddings, and pretty much anything else you can think of. The weddings are the best, although i've learned there is an insanely distinct difference between Mormon weddings, and non LDS weddings. In all honesty, the Non religious ones offer so much entertainment. The harder they drink, the harder they dance! Haha!

I'm going to wrap up this post with my funny section: There is an awesome boy I work with, whose name is Eric. Apparently, he was long time friends, with MY best friend Jessica. They graduated together, after passing zoology as a team, and Jessica promised me that she's the only reason he graduated! Haha! It's so funny that I don't know him, because after talking to him, he's one of those people that knows all my friends, yet i've never met him. During our chat behind the DJ stand, he convinced me to come on a date with him. The only way I agreed to go though, was if he would agreed to go to church with me on sunday :) (such a clever girl) He agreed, and so we went on a date. During the day, we went to the zoo with Jessica and her nephews and neices. It was super fun, and I had the time of my life immitating the Peacocks. For all of you who don't know me? Peacock=Tonya's signature sound. So convicing. You have no idea. :)

So anyways, Saturday night comes around and I meet his roomate Kadon, and his lady, Aimee. We're driving around and no one will tell me what we're going to do. We go to Famous Daves (AMAZING food p.s.) and then Eric tells me he has "something special" planned. Unfortunatly, his idea of something special, was my worst nighmare.

Dr. Slaughters.

Um...............NOT A CHANCE.

As a small child of eleven years old, I had the WORST experiance in that place ever. I got lost, and ended up geting seperated from my group. I wound up in the arms of a stranger: some 30 year old woman I had no idea who she was. I clung to her and cried the rest of the way through. I don't get a thrill out of those houses, soooo I promised I'd never never NEVER go back. I debated with them for an hour about why I couldn't and wouldn't go. Finally they gave up, and we decided to go back to Eric's hose. On the way back there, we switch radio stations to Sunny 94.3. The announcer was advertising free tickets to Dr. Slaughters of course. Eric was being all sorts of cocky and saying, I'm gonna text in and win! To counter act his cockyness (stupid idea tonya, STUPID) I was like, "Hey, Eric. If you win tickets? I'll go." Ha. Stupidest thing to say in my life. He texted in from his work phone and his personal phone. There are a TON of people in idaho falls, guys. Come on what were the chances of him winning. Right? Right???? WRONG.

The kid didn't win one set of tickets. No. He won tickets off of BOTH phones. Four freaking sets of tickets. I hated my life. To make matters worse, Eric was laughing so hard when we went to pick up the tickets he could hardly stand up straight. The radio announcer thought it was so funny, he decided to post our story one the air! Perfect. So, if any of you thought you heard me two weeks ago? Yeah. That was me. Haha. Needless to say, I chickened out. Started crying. Ah. Completely pathectic. I promised Eric that i'd go the week after........being last weekend. Once again, no go. But I did make insane progress! I made it to the gate. Haha! Knowing my luck, an actual slasher is gonna slip into one of those houses the second I actually get the guts to go in.

Hmmmm. I think I'll stay away from those for a while. I'm still trying to drink some "Man the heck up juice." Haha. We have allllllll season to break me of my fears.

:) later skaters!

         

In my defense:

This is actually the the THRID blog that i've stared...hoping, wishing and praying that this time it will work out!! I have actually had people tell me that I need to start blogging again, so, my dear dedicated stalkers, here you are! Haha.

Things have changed so much in my life. Worst summer of my LIFE that is for sure! So many terrible things happened, but I have become such a strong person. I've burned some bridges, and suprisingly, I don't regret any of it. I feel like sometimes turning over a new leaf and making new friends and new connections is the best way to go about your life! Life lessons have poured themselves out all over me, quickly speeding up my maturity process. I have definatly learned what I look for in best friends, and also what to look for in a boyfriend... (and more importantly, HIS FAMILY.) I deserve the best of the best. I don't deserve to be lied to, hurt, kicked around, or treated like shit. I'm walking away from all of that, and it feels so good. Guess what? I'm the priority :)

I am back at college, and am having the time of my life. My roomates are incredible, the food is wayy better this year, and the music is tough! I made chamber choir, which is the most advanced choir here at ISU. I started crying when I found out I made it, because I know that this music is going to heal me. Music heals me. I don't know how else to put it other than that. My piano is my best friend, and my singing heals my heart. I also have my friends that actually, truly care about me by my side. How do you know you have a real friend? Yeah. They never leave you.

My testimony of the gospel has also increased in this time of distress. With blessings and fasting, I have actually come to feel the promptings of the spirit. The lord has a plan. I already am married with an amazing husband....it just hasn't happend yet.  I also came to this amazing conclusion...

sometimes, things have to completely fall apart before they fall together.

p.s. Justin, Roomies and Lindsay...thanks for being my lifesavers these last few weeks. Muah.